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03.06

OI YOU! can u fucking hell leave me ALONE? and jolly well stop copying things that i write and say?? u think ppl see liao very happy izzit? pls la har. grow up and get a life la. this is MY BLOG. everything written here is COPYRIGHTED. u understand this freaking word COPYRIGHT? argh. pls la i gt more than enough problems liao la. stop adding on to it la.

i was thinking ytd.. whether should i go to school or not. i din went to school for quite a number of times this month... i feel so weird all of a sudden. hui was saying.. i wasnt like this last time. i don go means i don go and i won think so much. why now i worry? yea. true. i worried that i might get caught or wat. bel say her attendance this month not good.. come to think about it.. my attendance was no better. tsk tsk tsk * shake head* i'm an idiot.

friday we gonna get our report card. i surely flung everything once more. is just the end. i cant do it. ca1 sa1 and now ca2. i din do WELL AT ALL. wat shit am i doing all this while? dreaming and worrying about ---- . ( i wasnt suppose to say that word in blog) . maybe i just spend too much time on ---- i should worry bout my studies instead. like wat he say. my aim was to get out of bowen in 4 yrs with o'lvl certificate. =) YES. its so true. so i'll just listen to his advice and stop thinking too much bout ----. i've been so stupid all this while .. so stupid.

mug mug mug.
oh..isnt that GREAT? i'm the one who gets all the SHIT. WOW. isnt it WONDERFUL HUH?? everything also me la... my fault la hor my fault... u are the best la justice of the world la. make me the scapegoat la... make me take all those shit now u happy liao la... ooohhh... that feels good too isnt!? isnt!!!???


ya. blame me ok. throw this whole world to me k!? anything also me happy? yes i'm the bad one...yes i am. i take all this shit now does that makes u feels BETTERR!!??
THAT'S IT. I HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!! CHANGE ANYTHING AND I


QUIT!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU!!
as i read ting's blog... i feel that she wrote out part of wat i wanna say too.
yes i'm scared. scare that we cant win. scare of falling down. scare that particular tcher will pull us down. right down to the bottom. i've been keeping to myself... i don wanto be immatured by insulting him in my beautiful blog. but i cant take this anymore... he is ruining us. i don care wat he gt his reason of doing this and that i DON GIVE A DAMN. yes. call me childish if u want. i don care ANYMORE. i had enough. our worries for next year he will NEVER understand. stop acting as if u know everything or wat... oh yes u might be GREAT in music and ur "wonderful rolling" but u can nv understand the feeling we had in us. i appreciate u for NOTHING. i will appreciate if u can just get out of here and stop interferring with us. stop thinking that wat u do is for our own good... u are just ruining us and KILLING US. we will be so darn freaking happy if u could kindly get out of here and stay out of our business.
is not easy to win in that competition. .we'll do even better if u stop interferring with us.. I HATE YOU FOR COMING. u just FUCK OFF.

and i hate ppl who say us sucks. cos you dont have the right to say it. u are just JEALOUS of us >.<

pray that we can survive through this storm. =)
i hope life will be easy. i hope life will be stress-free. is sad that this world is so stressful. everyday is so busy.. rushing out of time. cant we just slack someday and relax? sigh.

my skin at my side of the nose is peeling and it is hurting me. ALOT. my legs is like... full of 'dots'? i tried everything i can to get rid of those white spots but none of it works. sigh.

i hope i can mug everyday. i can sit still at my chair and study study and study. and hopefully i would get good marks for my tests. but... i cant. i'm not those kind that will study until the last minute.. sigh.

i hope i can get out of singapore. not that i hate this country or wat. but i hope to see other places. not to stuck here and having this same old boring and stressful life i have. ( . . . ) ok nvm. SIGH.

...
...

where's my bleach... where's my naruto!! i missed too many episodessss!!! sickening brother dint download since like...2 months ago???!! argh. .... sigh.


sigh.
i'm not a smart person. and i do not have high IQ either. so why in the world am i in e2?

when i first gt back for streaming result last year, i was pretty happy about it. cos my efforts din go down to the drain. when i get to know which class i am post to.. i'm happy too cos i nv expect myself to be in that class. somehow i regret for not transferring out of it.

i'm really stress. really really stress. i cant stay in this class. All my classmates are smart people.. they can study they can do well for their tests, for their exams. they can pretty much pass with flying colours. yet i am just getting all stressed up and feeling pressurize in this environment. i just cant find a space in this class that fits me. not that i'm trying to think lowly of myself or wat but i noe in my heart that i need to be in a place that i feel relax and not so tense up. everyday i go to school. i look ard the class.. i see ppl concentrating in class, so attentive. yet i am daydreaming thinking about things that i shouldnt. even like now, i get back some of my common test results. i failed my chem. i get borderline marks for my geo, i did really badly for my emaths and i gt lousy marks for my mt. wat is this?? like today... mr goh in charge of band so i ask him my marks after dismissal... i can practically cry down there and knock myself on the wall. ya, he's right.. i'm just hopeless... i'm even useless. this is so stress. AHH. god. kill me pls. just let me die.

i hate myself. i cant study well. i cant get good marks. i should just go to hell. =)
i just dont find it ok for u all to go ***** ***** . i mean u got us here but just becos of them u all rather go ***** *****. freak u man.

i din went to school today. nt on purpose ah. i just cant wake up. and by the time as msg me is already 6.40am. by the time i ok liao it will be nearly 7am. she gt ask if wanna take taxi not... but i say don wan la. i also very tired actually. so much for my effort ytd of rushing my amaths homework and organising the stupid amaths file. anyway i'll be going to school in the afternoon for band thou. =)) haha. i dont feel like going la but nvm lor.. just go since there's a perf coming up.
i hate bowen. becos the school do not support us and always complain us being noisy. like wtf. work our butts off, won and oh right the school gets the fame. wth.
ok anyway. u can don read this hatred part if u don wan cos is just wat i think and THAT person... u better jolly well don comment about it u get that?

i'm not a bad student. i just cant wake up that's all. i do not have the intention of not coming to school if not i wouldnt have done my hw ytd. in conclusion. i'm a nice student. =) ok i'm rubbish.
life is so boring. is so meaningless. is so .. did i say boring? sigh. i wonder what else can i do except for study study and study? cca cca and cca. i'm like so sick and tired of it. its always doing the same old thing. i noe la.. i should be contented. but i cant help it. is still BORING. facing ppl who are so blardy sickening and yet i cant do anything. cant change anything. need to ren qi tun shen. argh. SICK AR.

so ca week is over. finally i can take a good rest. yea. i shall slp like a pig and enjoy every momment of it. muahahaha. ok i'm nuts.
anyway. so i'm back. with some lame post to show that i'm back. so i am posting it to show that i am back. and i noe i am being lame over here because i'm just being lame. ... god..shut up jingyuan! si lamer.

sometimes i really donno if i am doing the right things. what i say out of my mouth is suppose to be something to correct them but i find that maybe i've talked too much. but i cant help it, cos i am scare. i am scare for next yr. that crucial year. what if they were to come back and they see them like this?? they will criticise us... they will look down on us... they will..they.. .. nvm.
maybe i'm being stupid
how i wish the seniors are here with us.. if they are here we wouldnt need to bother so much already.. we can just do our part and that's all. why left us only? why arent there anymore seniors with us? why arent they coming back for us? isit because they have lose hope on us?? or is it because they are.. busy?
wateva. i think too much. i should just do what i have to do and thats all.